Personal Retainer

Please note, this is an experimental service. It’s difficult to gauge how much time will be involved in assisting and coaching you and being on call in case of difficulties. And it is difficult to know how useful or cost-effective this service is to you. So we may need to review what is a fair and reasonable use of my time and involvement in your day-to-day affairs; or if you feel that you’re not getting sufficient value-for-money then we can revise the fee structure.

Especially in the first weeks and months of your stay in Thailand, you will feel overwhelmed and are more prone to making expensive mistakes or bad decisions, or getting involved in misunderstandings with Thai businesses or (romantic) partners.

Wouldn’t it be really useful to be able to talk with someone who has lived here for a long time, speaks the language fluently and knows the ropes? And what about when you need to make an important decision (it could be something as little as “what mobile phone should I buy and what network to subscribe to?” or “shall I go visit my newfound girl/boyfriend’s family?” or “should I buy property, and if so where?”, not to mention: “If I get married, do I need to pay a dowry and if so then how much?”).

What about if you’re stuck because of language barriers or lack of knowledge about everyday issues? It could be an issue with your apartment such as getting a leak repaired or the air conditioner cleaned. Or you need to have your car/bike serviced or repaired and you don’t know where to go – or you need to explain to the mechanic what you want done.

(If you’re building or making repairs to your own house then I can also help to explain to the builders what it is you want done and arrange for their work to be supervised. However, this is outside the scope of the retainer agreement. This a separate service and will be charged for separately.)

When you sign up for the Personal Retainer service, we will begin by meeting up two or three times for dinner and chat in general about your life in Thailand. In the course of these meetings, you will gain an insider’s knowledge of Thai culture and how to conduct yourself and stay safe in Thailand – with regards to nightlife (including sex, prostitutes, ladyboys and massage – with or without “happy endings”) as well as: spending money, having a relationship, dealing with accidents or encounters with the police, avoiding scams, working (if applicable) and learning the Thai language.

I’ll also be on 24/7 call – to my personal mobile phone, not a call-center (so within reason and subject to my own commitments and social activities). Sometimes, it may be just as convenient to shoot me a message or email – especially if it’s something that needs some research or a considered response.

You will be able to contact me about any issue that you need help with, such as talking to a Thai person that you are having difficulty communicating with, or you’re dating a Thai person you’ve just met online or at a social event, or you’re thinking of buying into a business. (Discussing the initial idea and advising you in general is included in the scope of the retainer agreement; but if you’d like more comprehensive Business Consultancy, such as helping to draft a business plan, create a financial model, find premises and staff, and deal with company formation and taxes, visas & work permits, then these need to be dealt with and charged for separately.)

How much does it cost?

Ad hoc, urgent or emergency call
up to 30 mins
1 week
1 month
3 months
6 months
1 year

You will probably want to avail of my help and advice quite often in your first month or two, but then need to call on me less and less over time as you become more independent and “streetwise”.

Having a Personal Retainer gives you the peace-of-mind to fully enjoy your life in Thailand while keeping safe and not wasting money.